Dispiriting Day 1

So my post I’m working on now is taking longer than I had anticipated. I’m in the process of moving right now and my life is not organized in any way, especially not enough to be able to sort my thoughts into a full-length piece.

But let me tell you about my day. My horrible, awful, no-good,  really bad, and really sweaty and stressful day. I’m hardly in the mood to create anything good right now, so lower your expectations as far as possible for today. I just want to rant right now.

It began first thing when I woke up. Because it wasn’t anywhere near the time I wanted to be awake in the morning. So that set my mood off to a poor start because of that disappointment in myself there. Once I actually got out of bed, I collected my things from my suitcase to take a shower in the place I’m staying at, and walked across the house with it all in hand. Once undressed and ready to go, I realize that I forgot my face wash. Not that big of a deal, even though it did upset me a little because I was already undressed and didn’t feel like retrieving it just for one shower.

Anyway. Then came the difficulty with the shower itself. I’m not used to the water conserver type of shower head, the type where you have to pull the cord to resume water flow and all that so that it doesn’t waste any water while you’re waiting for it to heat up. So I turned on the water and started to wash my hair, and the water just abruptly turns off, mid-shampoo. I just wait for it to turn back on, as if the water pressure got interrupted momentarily because of some other water being run in the house. Even the spout at the bottom wasn’t letting any water out but drips.

Finally I just turn it off and rinse my hair out in the sink. Then as I’m drying off and cursing whatever unknown misfortune prevented me from doing a real thorough cleanse, I hear weird noises coming from the wall behind the spout of the shower. So I turn it on again, and sure enough it’s running. Then I switch it over to the head, and sure enough it’s running! I turn them back off and jump back into the tub.

I figure I might as well condition my hair if possible, so I squeeze a small amount onto my hair (thankful that it’s now a lot shorter than it used to be), and then turn the water on. To my dismay, the water won’t come. So I turn on the spout at the bottom and crouch down into the bottom of the shower under the mini waterfall to rinse my hair, feeling utterly ridiculous and pathetically undignified.

So once I dry off and get dressed, I start making myself and my boyfriend some breakfast. Bagels looks good. Sure. That should be a safe bet. Nope. I have to cut open the bagels myself because they’re the Costco kind that aren’t pre-sliced for ya. And as I’m cutting through that last inch of the bagel bread, milliseconds away from breaking apart the two uneven halves, I angle the knife toward my hand and slice through the tip of my finger!

Now, at this point I’m halfway showered and shaved and am bleeding into the kitchen sink, and am really considering just calling the day quits and going back to sleep next to a peacefully dosing Chandler for a couple years. But no, I valiantly tighten a band-aid over the stream draining from the deep gash in my skin, and continue making breakfast. Unfortunately, I am not yet accustomed to the toaster-oven at this house, so I nearly burn the bagel that I’d been looking forward to all morning. And there’s also no cream cheese of course, because of the unspoken rule that a household can not contain both of these breakfast essentials at once. The same rule where you never have the correct ratio of milk to cereal. But anyway…

I start applying to jobs online, which was the thing I had originally planned to do today before all the mishap. And that went decently. And by that I mean there was little challenge but little feedback. Just hours and hours of paperwork and filling out applications to childcare jobs and a nearby Starbucks. Once I had worn myself out on that, I decided to grace the world with my presence and turn in a resume in person to a comic book store.

I start fantasizing about how exciting it would be to hang out with nerds all day and sell games and little super hero souvenirs. I even made sure I had my Lord of the Rings tattoo showing to possibly provide a conversation starter. But no. My dreams at making friends over Marvel vs DC debates were shattered as soon as I walked in the doors.

I hand this old balding guy my rumpled resume, which he looks down on as an absolutely insignificant and disappointing piece of paper. He asks me a couple things about what I wrote down, and I answer with some short unprepared mumbles. Then we establish that I don’t have the retail experience he’s looking for. (When really, how hard can it be to pick up something like that? Did I not put down I’m a fast learner at the top of the page…)

Then comes the worst part of this demoralizing exchange. He asks if I have general knowledge of the stuff they sell in there (what, like the flashy characters coating every available surface?) And I say “Yeah. I mean I haven’t read any of the comics, but I’ve seen all the movies.”

Immediate cringe moment. I basically just told this guy I was a complete poser! I hadn’t read the books but I had seen the movies!?!?! Like that made up for my lack of nerd culture at all. No, it just made the whole situation worse. I had nothing to say after that. I blanked. I panicked. I was stunned and insulted at my own ignorance, and had no possible way of knowing his thoughts at the moment. They were most likely: “Oh, I see. What you’re trying to say is that you aren’t a true fan, just a pretend one. Like one of those hipsters, ya? You think I’m into hiring young fake hipster white chicks? You’re not nearly nerdy enough to work at a place like this. You’re one of those dull pretty girls who wears an Avengers shirt to look cute. Your type disgusts me and you are too pretty to work with the people who come in here and don’t care about appearances and just want to be comfortable being geeks. So I could absolutely not use your lack of previous retail expertise and have you intimidate my nerds. Move along!”

I mean… I’m sure it’s not quite as extreme as that, but he had very little humor for me to go off of, and I was very uncomfortable at my lack of nerd material at that moment of questioning. The sad thing is that: I AM A NERD! I swear. As I said previously, I HAVE A NERD TATTOO ON MY ARM! I have seen every Marvel movie that has come out (besides Guardians of the Galaxy… I know — I am ashamed). But no, it’s not enough. Today I found out that I am not nerdy enough for a nerd shop. And that was the worst part of my day. I was humiliated.

I am undoubtedly a nerd, but just not the right kind. I’m not such an extreme nerd that I can recite all the Marvel and DC knowledge I possess at a second’s notice. It’s not that I’ve  just watched the movies. I have played the games. I have dressed up as the characters on multiple occasions. I have quoted notable lines more often than I should. I know the Avengers like family! But no… I am merely a novice. A mediocre fan of the superhero universe. I have failed you all…

After that point, my day continued its downward spiral. It was extremely hot and my car doesn’t have AC, so every inch of my body was melting as we drove around the city. The air gets so hot in the cab of my little car that it’s difficult to breathe in the heat of the day in full traffic. It was bad enough that I had to drive my deteriorating manual in the city, which extremely stresses me out. I also hadn’t eaten anything since that crusty bagel, so I was about ready to explode, or murder someone with my car.

We decided to check out a vape shop after our short and disappointing resume drop offs, and were there long enough to realize that we were too young to buy anything. Thanks for always making great laws, California. Then we turned with heads hanging low and soaked in perspiration and headed for the haven of our temporary home.

I was glad to get home and breathe the cool air and just lay my head down for a moment in silence and let off some steam and let some hot tears fall. It was quite overwhelming for my first day of trying to make it in the city. Tomorrow will be a fresh start, an opportunity to face new challenges and setbacks. I know today wasn’t the only one of its kind, just the first of many. I just know that tomorrow I’m going to be better prepared. I’m going to wake up earlier, I’ll know how to take a full shower, and I sure as hell won’t be going outside!!! At least for the majority of the day while the sun beats down on the air  and they conspire to suffocate me. Now for some simple boxed Mac n Cheese for me and my sweetheart 🙂

Goodbye for now, and I hope you all find a way to stay cool this summer!!!

Get yourself something nerdy at Amazon.com

Avengers Movies:

Captain America Movies:

The Thor Movies:

And the Spiderman Movies, old and new

And, if you’re a superior nerd to me, check these out (though I can tell you nothing about them at all, out of inexperience)

Till next time! ♥♥♥


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